Firstly I'd like to say thanks for having this resource up for us all to share our stories,
!It kinda helps to see how or why other people have their Iritis, and might offer some hints to our own cases.
I myself am currently into my second week of my 5th bout of Iritis, 4th time in the left eye, and would like to share my story of Iritis so far. It might be a little long, but maybe it might relate to a few other people =)!
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First time I heard of Iritis.. Just turned 18
One of the first things I realise with this disease, is that no one seems to know what it is, unless someone close to them has had it. I myself was first diagnosed with Iritis in August 2007, which lasted for 5 weeks while in highschool, and before then never even knew eyes could get inflammed. It was before classes started that I just got this pain in my eye and told a teacher that I felt like something was wrong.. She saw the redness and sent me to the school receptionist who put me in the nurse's station, though, while waiting in there, the pain only seemed to get worse. I could hear her talking to another person in reception and i could make out her saying something like "I really hope it isnt that.. It just looks so much like when I had it.." I then got taken to my doctor (who's known me since delivering me), who when seeying my eye said "Anthony, I honestly dont know what you have.. rather than guess, I know a specialist who's got a lot of experience and is sure to help you", and so he sent me to a Dr Jackson. An opthomologist since the 80's, Dr Jackson is a highly qualified eye specialist, and has certificates not only in Australia, but in the Uk, and the USA as well. He immediately knew what I had, but wanted to examine my eyes anyway, and set me on what I believe to be a standard couse of eyedrops.
I spent each day of the first 3 weeks in my room in darkness, and every hour, my grandma who was looking after me would come in to administer some drop(s).. I found it absolutely excrusiating to be in the light, since photophobia bundles itself with Iritis so nicely.. It was right the middle of my final year of highschool too (in australia, school year starts in February, and ends in December since the seasons are swaped on this side of the world). I missed out on some core course work during that time, but I kept mysel from boredom by skyping with a girl from overseas who kept me company and helped me through it. After it started easing, I dealt with it as best I could - in class i wore sunglasses and since I was in the school play, I contemplated dropping out.. though i was encouraged to work with it and ended up having an eye patch made by the costume lady which actually seemed to go well with my role. While at school now, I had either a teacher or the school receptionist put drops into my eyes for me, it was there I learned that she too did in fact have iritis, but her case was chronic, lasted a good 2 years and is the reason she wore glasses. I gulped at the thought of maybe suffering that too.. but after recovering and having a final checkup, I felt good thinking that I was lucky only having acute iritis, and Dr Jackson said if im lucky, it'll be a one off incident!
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Once, and it could be it. Twice.. expect it Thrice
All was good and well and I believed it was done and over! I found love with the girl I mentioned before who ended up coming to Australia to be with me, graduated highschool with good enough marks to get into the course I wanted, and event went to Europe to spend time with my new girlfriend! But to my horror I got another case in the same eye in March 08 (7 months after the first case).. this time it was even worse, and I had to drop out midway of the first semester of University. Instead of going to the specialist (who although a good doctor, charged an arm and a leg), I went to the Eye and Ear hospital downtown. After waiting patiently for 6 hours to be seen, I was diagnosed there with Iritis again.. As with last time, I spent alot of time in my room, and relied on someone to put the same drops into my eye. Now that i'd had another incident, I was recommended to take blood tests to rule out known causes or single out a reason for it recurring. All tests came back negative. No one could tell why I got Iritis again, and one doctor i saw at the hospital i was frequenting said that 80% of iritis cases still dont seem to have any known causes, and that I was probably part of that group.
Since then, I had iritis occur again in August 08 but I recognised the 'warning symptoms' before the iritis fully broke-out. This time, the girl from europe came back to australia to spend 8 months living together so she took care of me this time round, though she helped encourage me to try putting the drops in myself, and would you believe it, it was more comfortable self-dropping? This case of iritis lasted little over a week since it was treated on so quickly. Over the next year alot happened, one of the biggest things being that I got engaged to this girl from europe in January 09, with her family even coming over to support us. But by now, there were those in my family who weren't happy about me being with this girl, who did their part in making her feel unwelcomed. She herself felt that rather than live with my family together in the same house, we should move out together, afterall, we were adults, so why not, and if anything, it might make relations with the rest of the family improve.
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A summary of my next year.. No iritis, but relevant to later..
Over 2009 I was lucky enough not to have any iritis and thought it was probably over, though it wasnt something i really had on my mind, since the big thing for me now was this moving out business. My family was strongly against it.. and every time i brang the subject up, i was lectured about how it wasnt an easy thing to do and that i'd most likely fail, and this led to me then having arguments with my now fiance, who was now back in her country. She would look online at what was available for rent and show me, but I would be hesitant and complacent because of being torn between her and my family's opinions on the matter.. Luckly, midyear I was offered a break when her family wanted to suprise her for her graduation (in her country they graduate at 19), by buying me a ticket to see her! I suprised her by pretending to go on a University field trip, when in fact i boarded a plane to fly over! We spent 3 glorious weeks together, and even though saying bye was hard, it was a great trip and it really made me feel like a part of her family.. I always felt bad there-after though when we would talk about moving out and she would always play the "your family doesnt like me" card.. which was unfair.. but had merit.. We made plans together that the time between semester 2 of 2009 and semester 1 of 2010, I should come over to her country to spend christmas and new years with her family, since she did the same with my family in the 2008/9 period.
I went over in the final week of november and spent the time with my fiance and her family in which it was to be the time we were going to prepare for her to move to Australia on a more permenant basis. This also meant that we'd also be preparing to move out when getting back after the 3 months there in her country. December was great, we did so much together and with her family, and christmas was great and new year maybe even better! I really felt part of her family, and I am positive they felt the same with me! In fact, one christmas present was in fact a cruise that her parents had bought for the both of us, departing on her birthday! The cruise itself was great, and we had a ball! All this time however from when i got there, this issue of moving out still persisted to be an arguement starter.. About 3 weeks before we were going to leave, my fiance started exhibiting some strange behaviour.. and when i confronted her about this.. she told me she couldnt go on anymore with me.. She was sick and tired of going on like this.. and was convinced that I wasn't ever going to grow up.. and in her own words "moving to the other side of the world just wasnt an option when you have doubts.."
I tried to make amends with her and fix things.. but she seemed to be stubborn to my efforts.. She made me sleep in the spare room and even her family were crushed by her sudden change of heart.. I had many sleepless nights and cried alot and ended up going to her older sister's house to spend time there since it became unbareable to be in the same house with my no ex-fiance.. While at her sisters' place, I got another bout of Iritis, how ever, this time it was in my Right eye for the first time.. I felt the symptoms the day before it happened.. and I had a gut feeling I had it again, but I didnt care.. The following morning though when the pain became too much, and the signature redness was visible when looking in the mirror, I went to the sister and told her about iritis, and so she organised to take me to the Eye hospital in the country's capitol (where the sister lived). I recieved medical attention later that day and luckly my travel insurance covered it (I thought i was more likely to get injured skiing than get iritis again!).. I administered the drops myself since I didnt want to ask my would-be sister-in-law to do it for me.. but I got slack with my drops and so my vision was quite blury and cloudy through the affected eye at the time.. I remember when returning to my ex's house, watching TV with her brother and stepfather, and not being able to even see a difference between the tv and the area 1 meter around it in all directions since i was so bad with my drops.. I really just didnt care anymore since my heart was broken..
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Leaving the girl of my dreams, and facing my deamons.. one of them.. Iritis..
I ended up taking an early flight out from the country since I did not want to be there all those 3 weeks, though her family told me I was welcome to stay, though they understood that it was probably in my best interests.. I ended up going to another country in europe where I had family, and there I had a great time, and got back into a consistent drop regime.. Upon returning home, I continued using the drops, but again grew slack as it dawned on me that I could have now been with my girl, instead of feeling the empty void..
University was going to resume, but my vision began worsening again, and my sensitivity to light became apparent once more.. I didnt want to wait in the eye and ear hospital again, and so turned to the doctor I trusted the most with my eyes, Dr Jackson. He said that the drops given to me overseas were good in helping me, but with my eye the way it was now, especially it persisting for 5 weeks now, I should get a more effective set of drops and was put on another course with those. I was also given medical certificates permitting me to stay home for a number of weeks to ensure I stuck to my drop schedual of every two waking hours.. I self-medicated again, but my grandma would come in every so often to make sure I hadnt forgotten to put drops in.
By the time my eye was alright again, I went to Uni, only to find that the course director was one of my proffessors. He recommended I take the rest of the semester off since i missed the 'foundation weeks' and probably would fail if I attempted to pick up now. So I instead tried working full time and that helped me keep my mind off things.. My iritis soon vanished and I was back to my old self.. I had moments of depression from everything being the way it was.. but I carried on.. My eye cleared up fine and was without scaring thankfully.
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My latest episode.. Final? only time will tell..
2 weeks ago, I spoke with me ex fiance.. I had spoken with her from time to time in the past 6 months.. but this time was different.. she seemed to be in regret about everything that had happened.. She had been with someone now for a few months (I had known of this, and she knew I had known), but anyhow, she seemed to be having problems with him and life in general.. she was full of resent at the fact that her family still seemed to love me so much and was especially hurt when she found out that her brother was coming to see me. He arrives here in Australia in about a month. He parents suppor his wish completely, and actually still write post-cards to me from time to time, albeit her wishes.. She started saying how maybe she was being too irrational, but still said it was my fault for not being a man.. we both actually cried while talking on skype together that day.. and it put me under alot of pressure thinking of everything again.. old woulds had openned once more and I was unsure what was to happen about this talk.. I eneded up spending the rest of the day with my friends talking with them about what I should do or say to my ex..
That night I felt throbbing in my eyes and a bit of a headache, and even though iritis crossed my mind, I thought that it must've been soreness from all the crying and the pressure I was under.. The next day, I woke up with her on my mind.. I hardly noticed anything different physically in myself.. but my one brother said to me "Anthony.. look at me for a second" while we were both having cerial that morning.. I looked at him, and he dropped his spoon and said "Oh sh!t.." I said "What is it?".. and he said "You better take a look in a mirror..". I went to the closest mirror, took a look, and as I stared into the redness of my eye, it was as if I realised the pain was there all of a sudden and i felt the deep familiar throbbing.. I still had though the drops lying around from my previous bout, and have since then been self medicating myself with them and my treatment seems to be improving my eyes.. I currently am not having such adverse reactions to light and have even watched a movie, and driven with my iritis.. I guess you could say that since I've had it many times and have grown accustomed to it, I have learned how to live with it, and wont let it get in the way anymore of what I want to do.. wont say I wont be out of action at all.. but I hope that from now on, i'll spend less time in the dark and more time doing the things I want to in life!
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Me and Iritis now.. Not partners.. but tolerant room-mates..
Now that I've learned the warning signs of iritis that I personally get, I feel that in the future I can probably prepare for an onset should the symptoms appear.. I've also become 100% comfortable with putting in the drops myself and have learned techniques to sleep better without interuption from having a 'runny eye'... I am now less than a month away from my 21st birthday.. in the last 3 years, i've had Iritis 5 times, once in the right, the other four in the left and am now convinced that the reason has always been stress.. In August 07, I was 2 months off my final exams, and had A LOT of assingments piling up on me.. in March 08, I was missing my girl and coping with the differences of University to highschool.. in August 08 I was struggling with catching up on a whole semester of uni lost and getting unsatisfactory results for that period of exams from that semester.. then of course in January this year (2010), my awful breakup feuled my monster 3 month long episode, and this last bout being the result of my ex now making things worse by saying she made a mistake, yet not doing anything about it...
Stress for me I guess is the cause.. I remember each time the doctor, whether it was Dr Jackson with all his experience, the doctors at the Ear and Eye hospital downtown in the city, or even the doctor overseas, all of them asked me "Are you under a lot of stress?".. and in all those situations, I have been.. I dont want to say my whole life story as I already have shared a wealth of information of just one attribute of my life, but I have a lot in my life that stresses me and many of those have also been contributing factors around the times I had Iritis outbreaks.. I try now to live as peaceful as possible, and hopefully will have a great deal of time between episodes..
I hope my accounts have given insight to anyone reading it, about how looking over the history of all the cases of iritis, as well as the events surrounding each episode, can explain perhaps a cause not evident from a blood test or physical examination, but maybe a cause which is attributed to the lifestyle of the sufferer.. Hopefully, I may also inspire others to come forth with their reflections of their history with Iritis, and maybe connect with those who have been dealt a hard blow emotionally, only to have matters worsened with this terrible, life altering, health issue..
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Thankyou for reading my story and good luck to all those out there dealing with this aweful eye condition.
Anthony C,
20 year old Information Technology Student,
Melbourne, Australia.